Ecclesiastes 3 King James Version (KJV)
1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
This past year has been the hardest year of my life…so far. I have to try to inject a little humor because that is just who I am. It is part of my nature. If I did not have this sort of personality trait along with God’s love, I don’t believe I would have made it through any of my life without sinking into some dark place never to return.
A year ago today I lost my husband; my son lost his father. The scripture above is one we chose to be read at the funeral; and also there a song with these same words which was part of the music that day. I believe there is more said about living and loving in those few words than anyone else could ever say.
I didn’t think I was going to be able to write anything about this for a long time, if ever. I’ve spent the last few days crying and reflecting, reliving our last few days in the hospital with family gathered around. I keep trying to put it out of my mind but it is always there in the shadows just waiting for a song or a spoken word to bring the memories to the surface. I know I will be like this for the rest of this day. Dwelling in the sadness because I miss him so; yet realizing that this world could no longer be his home. He is home now with God.
Tomorrow will be a better day. The sadness will always be there but I will pick myself up, my son will pick himself up, and we, with the help of God and our family and friends, will live and love and do the best that we can because that is what we are meant to do. That is what God wants us to do.
I have not been able to blog or paint much in the last few years. I sincerely lost interest in it. My husband came first and taking care of him was my top priority. And quite frankly, I could not find the inspiration within myself that I need to write and paint. I’m hoping to do more of both this coming year. In the meantime and am posting a couple of watercolors that I have been working on when I feel God sending the inspiration back to me.
The singing group The Byrds did a wonderful rendition of the Bible verses quoted at the beginning of this blog. The song is called Turn Turn Turn. If you have never heard it before, or recently, I highly recommend it.
Best wishes to all and special love and thanks to my family for all you have done and continue to do for me.